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And Mom ... Mom cried all the time. She would forget to feed us dinner. Sometimes she forgot about us entirely. During the six months they were separated, I had been left at school for hours as secretaries and teachers desperately tried to get in contact with her to pick me up. It was a lonely time.Abigail was so young then. I would go to her and hold her, finding comfort in the warmth of her hugs. She needed me and that felt good. Even though I was too young to fully understand the situation, I intuitively knew it was just the two of us. We had each other and that would have to be enough. I would sing to her and promise her that things would get better. A beautiful prince would come to save me and he would ask me to marry him. I would take her with me and we would never be alone again. He would swoop us off to a faraway castle where adults were happy and men stayed.Eventually Dad moved home. I went from wondering where he was to wondering why dinner was always so silent. He never. Lusa and I finished the dishes quickly but before we were finished dad asked to talk to me.I figured it to be the obligatory birds and the bees talk from dad. I was not wrong. I asked Lusa to wait for me in her room."Shawn. What are your intentions toward Lusa? I need to talk to you about how a man and a woman feel about each other and what you have to do about it." Will you get mom and momma in here so I can say this without you being grilled about the conversation later?"The woman were close in any case. They would only be able to hear one side of the conversation if they stayed just outside the door and listened. After they were seated I began again."The only feelings I get are the memories and the feelings of the people I love around me. Lusa means a lot to me. I have no real sex drive of my own. The things that do drive me is need to help the people I love and to a lesser extent people beyond my family; a need to feel their gratification. To this end I have helped to start Lusa.
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